Yesterday I parked my car outside the school gate waiting for Reuel to be released from school. I decided to take out the portable vacuum cleaner to do some brisk cleaning of my car’s interior. As I moved clumsily within the tight compartment looking out for any visible dirt to suck, I felt embarrassed to note the condition of my car. I finally gave up my cleaning attempt realising the need to set apart a day for a total and comprehensive overhaul of my car’s interior. The truth is that I always know I need to do it, but had been procrastinating, pushing the thought away again and again.
For the past few months, I had been sending my car for drive through car washes quite faithfully, at least more than 12 times. I couldn’t stand a dirty car; I mean I couldn’t stand being spotted with a dirty car. The exterior is visible and I had been concentrating on keeping that clean. However each day as I stepped inside my car, I am faced with the fact that the interior is culminating with forgotten dirt. Nevertheless, my mind keeps telling me that it is not that visible, so cleaning can wait. The fact is that I had only done 2 brisk cleaning of my car’s interior so far. Shame on me!
It dawned upon me that I might have been doing the same thing in my life. Have I been watching over the visible and not the invisible, the exterior and not the interior life? Have I been watching over areas of my life that are more public – like speech and behavior, and ignoring areas of my life more private – like thoughts, desires, and personal spaces. I was troubled.
The next day, the Lord continued to speak to me in my devotion with regards to my interior life. As the Lord led me to the mirror, I was disappointed. There are still so much of old self within me. Old self in the interior life can easily become forgotten dirt. It is after all hidden, and seemingly harmless to my surrounding. My waywardness had trivialized the matter and forgotten that God is equally hurt by sins both in my exterior and interior life. I am deeply saddened with myself.
Suddenly I felt a sense of defeat came upon me. Constant victory over sins in my interior life seems to be impossible…. at least for me, an accustomed sinner… I felt disheartened. At that moment, a song I happened to be listening echoed: “At the Cross I bow my knee… You have overcome the grave…”
The Bible recorded that Christ was laid to rest at a borrowed tomb after His crucifixion on Good Friday. It was not borrowed after all, He had purchased it with His blood. The grave that Jesus was buried was mine, not His. Jesus had taken over my grave so that henceforth I can live without one. This simple truth spoke volume to my heart. But that is not all. The greatest thing is that not just has He took over my grave, He has also overcome it through the power of His resurrection. The liberation from the slavery of sins is twofold… from its penalty through His death and from its power through His resurrection.
In summary, I come to know once again that I am forgiven and liberated from the clutches of sin. God has overcome the sins of my interior life in twofold! I am now freed to live a new life in Christ, a life where sins can be eradicated both in the exterior and my interior life. What an old truth this is. The good old gospel indeed! But profoundly reminded me in this year’s Good Friday and Easter.
Romans 6:4-5
“We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. “
Last night, I shared the following at the funeral wake. It is a sum up of reflections about grieving as i journey with my mum…
And Jesus Wept
John 11:17-37
The passage in John 11 tells of the account of the raising of Lazarus from the dead. The verses read out focus on the separate conversations that Jesus had with Martha and Mary, the sisters of Lazarus.
Martha and Mary represent the different needs that arise within us in times like this, when we suffer the loss of a dearly beloved.
Martha needs is related to understanding. She needs to be assured of life after death. Her need is one of theology, of understanding life, death and what life is after death… and what Christ has to offer. Last night, Pastor Jan had shared on this, and expounded on the verses in 25 & 26:
25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
For the part in us, that need understanding, knowing that Jesus is the resurrection and the life will grant us assurance to know that the deceased has not expired, as in she is no more, becoming non-existence. Rather she has merely passed on in Christ, to a better land. She now has a new body which will not suffer pain and decay anymore.
Nevertheless, as much as we may know in our head that she is well in Christ, our hearts remained in pained and disturbed. We felt as if someone had violently ransacked our hearts and taken away something that had been so precious to us for our lifetime. We felt a sense of disarray and felt a profound emptiness, not knowing how life will be now without it. This experience is call: grief. We find it hard to reconcile what we know, and how we feel. Like Mary, we remain inconsolable, we fell onto the Lord’s feet and wept and cried out saying “Lord, if you have been here, she would not have died”.
Looking at Mary’s broken heart, Jesus knew that it was not theology that Mary needs. For certainly Mary already knows. She had spent time extended at Jesus’ feet, listening to Him. The passage recorded that as Jesus witnessed the grief of Mary and those around her and He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. He asked to see the tomb of Lazarus … and then He wept. Other versions translated as Jesus becoming deeply upset and disturbed. And this is grief, a mixture of unspeakable sorrow which sometimes includes anger and frustration. The all-knowing Christ, who knew that He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead a while later, stood in solidarity with Mary and wept alongside with her. He could have commanded Mary to stop weeping and to trust what He was about to do, but He didn’t. There was no theology, no counsels, and no chastisement. Out from the mouth of God came only groans and sound of weeping… He lingered on with the mourners, and grieve along with them…
Tonight I wish to share 4 truths about grieving to the family members in hope that you will find comfort in your grief.
Firstly, grieving is normal. It is alright to grief. Though theologically we know that she is well in Christ now, it is still alright to grief. In fact grieving is not incompatible with Christian’s belief in resurrection. When we are separated from someone whom we loved (even if it is only temporary) we feel sorrow. Jesus wept, and the people around exclaimed: “See, how He loves him!” Jesus grieved because He loved Lazarus. Grieving is a natural expression that testify of the unique, personal and loving relationship each of you enjoy with the deceased individually.
The second thing I want you to know is that Jesus is not high up there in heaven looking down hoping you will comfort yourself with the truth He had given in the Bible about the promise of resurrection. Rather He stoops gently beside you, and grief along with you. Grief can be a very profoundly lonely thing. In the coming days when the wake is over and wheel of life seems to continue on with its cold and hasty pace without waiting for you to recuperate fully from the grief, you may experience that profound loneliness. You may face painful flashbacks alone, when familiar things (like smell, things, places) trigger the memory of the one who had passed on. I want you to know then that Christ will tarry with you when the world seems to forsake you. Jesus is the forever friend that will linger with you. Sometimes, it is not some wise counsel or theology about life after death that we need to hear, we just need someone who will respectfully enter the sacred place of our sorrow without judgement and remain silent, just to join us in our grief. The Bible testifies that Jesus Christ is full of compassion. The word compassion means “to suffer with”. Jesus Christ will suffer with you. When you feel the heaviness of that grief, look to Jesus, and find a forever present friend who will join you in silence in you grief.
The third thing I wish to share with you God can heal your grief. At times when you wonder if you will ever recover from this profound grief, know that you will… for God is the God of all comfort! God will heal that grief of yours through truth and time. I wish to tell you that grieving for the deceased and remembering the deceased are two separate things. Like a hardboiled egg, grief is like the egg shell, but the memory of the deceased is the egg within. The truth of God’s word will reign on us and heal us of our grief through time. Like the sun that dries up sticky mud to become clay which can be easily broken away, God’s truth through time will breaks off grief like egg shell. But be assured, it is only grief that will go away, not the memory of the deceased. Let’s not mix up grief and remembrance. I assure you that you can continue to remember the deceased fondly as an individual and as a family. Take time to grief. Some of you may take a month, half a year, or a year before the sorrows may go away, but do not hold on to it thinking that letting go this grief will also means letting go of the precious memory of you have about the one who had passed on.
Grief is a natural expression of that unique, personal and loving relationship that you have with the deceased. But we need not grief alone, Jesus is that forever friend who can enter into that profound grief of yours to share this grief with you. Grief will dissipate through God’s truth and time; but let’s not mix up grief with our fond memories of the one who had passed on.
Finally, let us grief, yet not as one without hope. For those who call upon the name of Jesus, there will be a great reunion someday, when we will meet our loved ones who had gone before us. Allow me to end with an illustration about dying which comforts me a great deal:
The Ship
I am standing upon the seashore and see a nearby ship spread her white sails to the morning breeze and start for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength. I watch her until at length and she is only a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky meet and mingle. Then someone at my side exclaims: “She’s gone!”
Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large in hull and mast and spar as she was when she departed and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination. Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just the moment when someone cries “She’s gone,” there are other eyes watching for her arrival, and other voices that take up the glad shout “There she comes!”
And that is dying in Christ….
Author Unknown
She is safe in the arms of Jesus. She is safe in the arms of Jesus. With all respect, she is not resting in the coffin. She is now safe in the arms of Jesus!
The Benediction
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Fasting is an intentional and brief abstinence of food and/or water in order to make space for prayer and reflection. Fasting is not about starving oneself to feel more spiritual. It is not an act to acquire more ‘power’ in our Christian life. It is not to say that the one who fasts is more spiritual than the one who does not.
In his book The Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster suggests that fasting reveals the things that control us, which we cover up with food or other earthly temporal comforts. I testify that fasting has often helped me to come before God in utter nakedness, to let His penetrating light shine on me, revealing the dirt and spots which I had so often dismissed as mere “bad habits”, “weaknesses” or “character flaws”. Fasting heightens the awareness of my own weakness. I feel uncovered by my own hunger. Fasting helps me to confront hidden sins in my life, and not to hide anymore. I convert every hunger for food or thirst for water to prayers of repentance over specific areas in my life.
A journal which I wrote during Lent 2009 expresses what I mean:
“Fasting somehow frees up surface area of our beings which were once occupied with our busy daily routines and false contentment caused by food and drink. Hidden thoughts and sins bubble up to occupy these “spaces”. It is as if the stomach regurgitates out sins… sour and pungent. I felt as if I could almost taste sins on my tongue in recent days. It is awful… and painful. Sadly, many of these sins are old struggles, meaning I have yet to overcome them. I just left them hidden, explained away in my daily life. I stand amazed at my infidelity, and cover my face in my hands with shame. I am saddened, deeply… by my waywardness…
Then a song arrives…. “Lord I want to yearn for You, to burn with passion ALL FOR YOU and ONLY YOU…”. What can I say? But to sing it deep, deeper and deeper each day. Till this shall be true…. this shall be true…”
Certainly, the awareness of my own sinful state is coupled with the growing appreciation of God’s holiness. Knowing the holiness of God is like increasing the intensity of a dimmer lamp. As the light bulb shines brighter, it began to reveal more of the living room. Knowing more of His holiness leads to the revelation of more areas in my life that I need to repent of before Him. Most importantly, it also leads to the increased recognition of the severity of sin.
Thus in Lent, we mourn over our sins, but we do it at the foot of the Cross. We mourn because we want to take our sins seriously, we mourn because we are dissatisfied with our current wayward state, we mourn because we recognise our sins cost our dear Saviour His blood on the Cross, we mourn because we long for His righteousness, we mourn because we long for His kingdom to come, and His will to be done in us.
Christian fasting paints the way to such sanctified mourning. This mourning is not one that leads to self-condemnation or self-pity. It is like the mourning of Isaiah in Isaiah chapter 6, who upon seeing God’s holiness confessed: “Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips”(vs 5). His truthful confession also leads to his readiness to receive God’s forgiveness (vs 6) and God’s agenda (vs in his life.
Charles Spurgeon testified: “Our seasons of fasting and prayer at the Tabernacle have been high days indeed; never has Heaven’s gate stood wider; never have our hearts been nearer the central Glory.”
Lent 2011 begins on Ash Wednesday, 9th March 2011. I pray that you will find the Lent period a sanctified time of prayer and fasting.
To learn more about Christian Fasting, I recommend a book by John Piper – A Hunger for God. It is now freely downloadable at: www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/online-books/a-hunger-for-god
13th April 2008 Sunday night, we were actually all quite tired out with all the camping overnight beside mum. Many of us took several days leave to be with mum. Now that mum was still with us, we were not sure if it was wise to keep some of our leave days for that “faithful day” which we were awaiting. We made a painful decision to return to work the next day.
However, Eileen came and shared with us that she had a very strong impression from the Spirit that mum will pass on that very night. We were troubled. We felt torn. Should we believe her? Should we believe in her “impressions”.
Most of us decided to believe her. Almost all, except Josie decided to stay back one more night to keep watch over mum. I brought Janice and the boys home with a grateful heart over Janice’s sacrificial love. Soon I went back to camp overnight with mum.
Eileen volunteered to take on the late hours of the night. After keeping watch over mum until 2am, Eileen took over and she immediately sat on a chair near mum’s bed and started to utter prayers. I was awakened at 5am by her. Eileen felt that mum’s breathing was slowing down. I went to investigate and agree with her. I felt her pulse, it was very weak. But I thought the pulse rate was still normal and dismiss it and went back to sleep. Eileen and dad remained awake to keep watch over mum.
About an hour later, they awoke me again. I noticed mum’s breathing was slowing down a lot, she will catch a long deep breath and stop for about 10-15 secs before catching the next. I felt her weak pulse and realised the rate had dropped drastically. It was the sign we were looking for. I affirmed Eileen and Dad that mum was passing on and we awoke everybody in the house to bid our last farewell. We contacted our immediate family and under God’s wisdom, I told dad to refrain to contacting his extended family yet. I felt the need for the immediate family members to have some time and space to be with our dear mum.
We said our last goodbyes. I told mum again and again to follow Jesus in Hokkien. I told her not to worry about us, but to follow Jesus when Jesus should appear to take her with Him. Some of us broke down and wept; we all bid our farewells and sang mum’s favourite Hokkien hymn together. Mum breathed her last at about 6:00am sharp….
Soon, Josie and our brother-in-laws, niece and nephews all turned up at about 6:30am to bid mum good bye. There were lots of tears. My eldest brother-in-law wept with loud cries. I had never seen him that way. I was touched to see my brother-in-laws standing in solidarity with our grief.
I instructed my family to spend as much time with mum as possible before we get busy informing our relatives. I realised that we will all get busy soon after and may not have a chance to grief by her side.
Mum died in 14th April 2008 at 6:0+ am. She died at the presence of her loved ones. My 2nd brother-in-law flew back from China just on time to have a chance to bid his goodbyes. Her process of dying was both a painful and profoundly life changing experience for me.
It was 7 plus in the morning before we began to inform our relatives about the passing of mum. My sisters had a chance by then to bath mum and helped her put on a beautiful dress. While dressing mum, I heard my sisters laughing and enjoying the moment with mum. I was glad for them, glad that they were given an opportunity to be with mum by themselves. I think it was a very precious time they had which they will never forget.
While there was grieve, there was also a sense of relief among us. That intense concern over her suffering state dispersed. We know that she was no longer suffering anymore….
Her funeral was an amazing piece of testimony. Once again we had several people coming to bless the family members in amazing ways. Upon hearing that mum’s favourite Hokkien hymn was “Disciple”, the composer and singer brother Kelvin Soh availed himself to come and perform for mum at her funeral. His visit and singing at the funeral was an amazing witness to the non-believers around us. In that week of mourning, the neighbourhood was overwhelmed by the large Christian witness. Many elderly saw how we as Christian mourn for the passing away of mum. I believe that God had used that funeral to break down several barriers inside them, in their resisting the gospel message.
I certainly experienced the fulfilment of God’s word in that He had exchange mum’s life for many. After mum’s death, my eldest sister came to accept Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. My second sister also rededicated her life back to God. Our family become “more or less” a Christian family, always talking about God and also mum….
Our relatives visited mum on Saturday and Sunday. They were shocked by what they saw. Some of there were very very unkind and unthoughtful. Careless words of hopelessness and accusations were used. Some of us were quite upset over their unthoughtful ways.
An accusation that pricked our hearts to bleed profusely was that we are letting mum slowly starve to death. The relative felt we had not done enough to help mum. Why was she not felt with a tube? Why was there no glucose drip? Why are we leaving her as it is… into her 4th days without food and drink. We were disheartened by that comment. It was truly an act of rubbing salt into our wounds. For the record, we had tried every means to help mum eat or drink. We took turn to wet her lips with wet cotton buds. The day when we were advised by the doctor to enter into palliative care for mum, the aim was not to prolong her life, thereby her suffering too… It was a tough decision to choose to let mum die… We need to let go, we need to gird ourselves with the attitude of releasing mum, and to try every means to make her comfortable, having some form of quality living in her last days… it was tough, but we decided to ignore their words and stick on to what we knowing we are doing…
Among the siblings, we were more engaged in the discussion of giving mum the second dose of morphine. We had seen how the first dosage worked wonders and relieving mum from her suffering, but we also realise that she seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep. We no longer can see if she was suffering or not. We were not sure if she needed the next dosage to ease her suffering or not. At the meantime, we were worried that she was actually suffering badly, but was not able to convey to us. Everybody avoided the task of the feeding her the next dosage. I tried, but chickened out at the last minute. All of us were afraid of what it means when mum receive the next dosage. We were afraid she may just die…. Finally Eileen took up the courage and decided that we need to grant her that next dosage to ease her possibly unspoken suffering. She took the dosage from the kitchen and went marched to mum’s room. I followed behind. While holding to that dosage near mum’s lips, Eileen found herself not able to do it. We threw away the dosage finally.
All in all, mum only took one dosage of morphine. ..
The hospice sent nurse volunteers to our home. I was touched by their ministry. Their palliative care advices were superb. I even found the nurses be willing to sit down to listen to us and at times reveal a sense of solidarity with us. They were the ones that helped us rent an electric hospital bed for mum. In one of the visit, the nurse actually passed us a bottle of morphine. That bottle is at least 500ml! I was both shocked and tickled. I think that amount is enough to kill the whole family! The instruction is to give 2ml to mum to ease her suffering. The morphine is meant to help her to sleep and relax. However it comes with a warning, giving it to mum may means she will fall into a deep sleep never to regain her consciousness. The choice is ours to take. To ease mum’s suffering by letting her go into a deep sleep, never to wake up again? Or to keep her with us, and see her suffer till her very last breath?
We were troubled. We decided to go ahead to give her the first dosage. The effect was almost immediate. Straight away we found mum resting much better, her breath wasn’t as intense. She looked more comfortable and peaceful. We were glad. However, we did not know if she is into deep sleep or not since she had become non-responsive to us for last couple of days.
On Friday 12th April, I arrived at mum’s house realising that my dad and my siblings were in her room. There was lots of weeping and sobbing. I realised they are bidding farewell to mum. I joined them in the room, leaving the rest of the family members and relatives at the living room to keep watch with us. We wept as a family. Dad spoke much endearing words to her wife. Once again, he became the romantic figure whom mum knew in their courtship days. Dad expressed his gratitude and love for mum as if we were not around. He was not embarrassed to express his love, he kissed mum again and again. We wept and wept with him. Bessie, my elder sister assured mum that she will take care of the family and will obey her instruction to help cook for the extended family. Mum instructed her personally in the past that she wanted the family to continue the practise of gathering in dad’s house every week. Mum wanted the family to stay united. Till this very day, Bessie remained steadfastly obedient to mum in this area. She had been cooking for the extended family, and had took on the role of mum in her absence.
That night, mum did not leave us…. But that time of bidding farewell was a good one for all of us. We all had a chance to do that before it was too late.
The next day, I went into mum’s room alone and bid my farewell. I made peace with her and sought her forgiveness for certain things that she was saddened over me. I am thankful that I did….
In her last days at home, Josie invited an overseas missionary to visit mum. The missionary heard about mum and wished to visit her to pray for healing. He is a popular healer involved in an international healing ministry.
The missionary came with a few other church members and started to pray with mum. Interestingly though mum had been non-responsive to us, she however was able to comprehend the visit and responded to the missionaries questions with some “uhmms…”. Her effort to respond touched me heart and I really can see that mum was really wanting God to heal her. Her faith in Him was strong and she was really hoping in Him.
I was with Josie in the room. Honestly I was very concern that the visitors were tiring out mum with their questions. I was afraid that mum will get too worn out trying to respond when she is already gasping for her every breath. The missionary began to pray for mum. I knelt joining them in prayers. Nothing happen. I was kinda unsure what to do actually. Superstitions overwhelmed me and I began to be worried that my ignorance and scepticism over the healing ministry be result in God not being to work. Is my presence “limiting the Spirit”? Is God not answering the prayer because a sceptic is in the room? I struggle to shake off wrong theology, and felt kinda messed up within.
The visitors then began to sing a worship song. The missionary did not give up, he urged mum to sing along. I was worried, wondering if the missionary knew what he was doing. Mum tried to, but she failed in her maiden attempt. She was gasping for breath. However, her desire to be healed took over and granted her miraculous strength. Mum began to sing out loud, she was really making every effort to respond to the missionary’s instruction. She was really wanting God’s healing over her. I was amazed by what I saw, mum even tried to stand up at the urge of the missionary. I was worried, while I was amazed to see mum’s obedience and trust. I notice that she is exerting herself very very aggressively. Soon she collapsed onto her sofa chair panting. The singing stopped, and all in the room began to realise that it is not working, mum is not healed. The missionary was very upset and saddened, he did not wish to give up, but there was nothing much he could do. I could see that he felt very disappointed that nothing happened. I could see a genuine concern and sadness in his eyes. Soon the visitors left.
I was troubled, I wondered what was done that afternoon rather bring mum closer to the grave. All that exertions leads to naught, and I wondered how mum felt after that. Was she disappointed that she was not healed? We never know, mum went back to her non-responsiveness, she was gasping for breath, focussing on trying to catch the next breath of oxygen.
Nevertheless that afternoon I witness mum’s faith. I was touched. She was really a brave child of Christ.
The missionary left believing that God will still heal my mum, just maybe gradually. I want to believe. I confessed my disbelieving heart and sought God to grant me grace and wisdom to comprehend this theology.
Later in that week, Eileen’s senior pastor visited my mum. He was a very renowned pastor. He came into mum’s room and prayed for mum. Mum once again tried to get up to greet him, and responded to him with “uhmms”. But the pastor was more thoughtful and kept urging mum not to exert herself. The pastor did not pray for a prayer of healing… he pray for trust, for surrender in the Lord. I was thankful for his prayers….
As I reflected, I was amazed that God had led to renowned ministers to visit mum and prayed for her. What privilege indeed! God really dotes on mum I thought.
It took a few reminders from God to get me back to this journal about journey with mum in her last days. It had been 2 years since I tried to get back to finish this re-collections. Strangely, I felt the Lord urging me to write and I am not sure why. Honestly, I am feeling much much better about mum. Yes, I still have some flashback of pains, but they weren’t as aggressive and intense. I am also able to smile again when I look at her photographs. I felt that I don’t really need to write anymore since I thought the Lord had granted me relief for my grief. Nevertheless, strangely the Lord had used various means to nudge me to return to this journal.
Last 2 days, I read back what I had written so far with tears, bewilderment and contentment. Tears because memories of mum’s last days came flooding in. Bewilderment because I was surprised by the grief found in my writing. Contentment because though the memories were painful, I was glad to see mum “vividly” again in those reflections.
Today I decided to push it further… to complete this journal.
Just a week ago, two of my sisters took courage and helped dad cleared up mum’s clothings. Yes, her clothings were still intact in the cupboard, sacredly left there untouched. My sisters decided it is time to donate these to charity. I stood by the corridor outside the bedroom and I saw them folding the clothes that mum wore when she was very sicked. It was emotional, I turned around and left them. I decided that I am not going to help….
I had not completed writing about mum’s last days. I felt the need to do so… I hope GOd will grant me strength and time to do so in these few coming weeks….
Yesterday Reuel called me and confessed to me that he played his Nintendo DS. The agreement was that he will play it at alternate days, yesterday wasn’t playing day.Reuel played it because he thought it was his playing day. Upon realising he had mistaken the day, he felt guilty and contacted me to confess it.
It is truly very heart warming to hear his confession. I am so so glad that Reuel felt at ease to confess his mistakes to me. It is my prayer that an environment of love, forgiveness is always set for him to be truthful and honest.
That night i hugged him deeply and praise him for his courage once again for doing that.
Dear God, i note that this is how you want me to approach you as well. Perfect love cast out fear. let me come to Thee with that deep assurance of your love and forgiveness….
in his life.